After sending out last week’s post on emotionally healthy eating, I got a lot of responses. I know being an emotionally healthy eater can be much easier said than done, so I started thinking about why so many folks struggle to live that way. And guess what? It almost always goes back to the silly lies we tell ourselves—and lie numero uno is all about willpower, or lack thereof.
I often hear clients and friends say things like, “I just don’t have self-control,” “Once I start eating, I just can’t stop,” “I’m addicted to food,” and “I have no willpower.” People say these things as if willpower is something we either have or don’t have—something we are either born with or not. The good news is, that’s not how it works, and you get to decide how strong your will is by managing your thoughts. That may be scary for some folks because it means we gotta take accountability and not play the blame game—but it really is up to us, and all of those things we tell ourselves are just excuses so we don’t have to do the work.
If you happen to be one of those people who says and believes the above statements (and there are many out there who fit the bill), first let me suggest you stop saying those things to yourself and others. We create our own realities, so the more we say and think we don’t have willpower, the truer it becomes. Remember—a belief is just a repeated thought, so if you’ve been saying these things for years, it’s time to stop looking for evidence that the statements are true—and start creating a new reality for yourself by thinking new thoughts.
That whole willpower thing folks don’t think they have, is all because of their thinking. On top of people telling themselves they have none, it’s pretty common to think things like I just don’t care, and I wish I didn’t have to watch what I eat, or It’s just too hard. It’s no wonder why so many folks can’t seem to stay motivated.
When we start thinking differently about food, and begin eating more mindfully, devouring food in excess becomes a thing of the past. When we think differently, willpower is no longer needed because it becomes easier to take better care of ourselves. To me the word “willpower” means restraining our impulses, and that sounds challenging. It means fighting our urges, and fighting anything is difficult. Changing our eating habits doesn’t have to be seen as a battle, or something we need to fight to do.
Instead, bringing awareness to our eating patterns can be very helpful. Do we eat simply because we are bored, or are we actually hungry? Do we snack out of habit, or because our bodies need fuel? Do we pick off our kids’ or partner’s plates when they don’t finish just because it’s there? What would happen if we didn’t eat something in those moments? I’m pretty sure we’d all survive, and life would go on. Give it a try—I dare you!
Pausing to think before we just dive in helps us stay present. Being present can help us avoid wondering how we finished a whole bag of chips without even tasting them. Take a moment before each bite and think about how your body feels. Is your stomach hungry, or is the desire to eat just in your head?
When we spend more time thinking about our typical mindless habits and ask ourselves questions before acting on an impulse, those habits become easier to break. This requires far less effort than trying to regularly will ourselves into making changes.
That “willpower” everyone is always talking about isn’t required when we start thinking things like, I don’t actually need that extra bite, or If I still want it later, I can always eat it then, and I am working to become the type of person who sees food as a non-issue. You can obviously come up with your own new thoughts, but they should feel good when ya think them.
You got this—no willpower required!
That’s it—that’s all I got for ya!
Happy day!
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