Twenty-one years ago today, my sister, Cecily’s life was cut short. She was just nineteen. This tragedy may never make sense to me, or anyone, but it is a huge part of who I am today.
At seventeen I wasn’t emotionally equipped to deal with such a loss. How do you make sense of something that doesn’t make sense? I still don’t have answers, but what I do know is that whether or not you believe in life after death, if you are open to the magic in life after loss (or whenever), it can bring a sense of peace, and even joy at times.
This time of year has always made me think. This year I decided I wanted to keep my eyes open to all the signs and synchronicities of my sister’s presence leading up to September 11th.
Last week, my mom took my three year old to the library. Charlotte (who was named after Cecily) was randomly pulling books from the shelves from different places. The two books she picked this time were both about Valentine’s Day. Cecily’s birthday was Valentine’s Day. Coincidence? Maybe. I don’t think so though. This made me smile.
Then my mom kept finding herself looking at the clock at 9:11. I’ve repeatedly heard a song that reminds me of my sister wherever I go, and my lunch the other day cost $9.11. Last night, as I was reading to my daughter before bed, one of her toys started playing music out of nowhere. Even just the irony of her passing on 9/11, but in 1994, makes me wonder.
I’m not really sure what to make of it all, but I did giggle each time one of these things occurred. Is she trying to get my attention? Is she letting me know she is here? Maybe it’s all random, but it makes me happy regardless.
It’s stuff like this that reminds me that all of the petty stuff most of us worry about each day, doesn’t really matter in the whole grand scheme of life. This universe we live in is so much greater than our minds can possibly imagine. That thing your friend/partner/family member did or didn’t do…does it really matter? Your irritability about work…does it really matter? Your obsession with your appearance…does it really matter?
Opening ourselves up to being truly present in life is a gift. This allows us to notice all of the awesome and unexplainable magic that occurs around us each day. Maybe running into that old friend of yours wasn’t just a coincidence. Maybe she needed you in that moment. Maybe those pennies you always see on the ground show up exactly when you need a reminder of some sort. Maybe when that song you love comes on the radio, you are meant to hear the words. Maybe when you think of someone, and then that person calls you, it’s magic in action.
Some things in life just can’t be explained-some things too wild to fully comprehend. Why does the sun rise? Why do our hearts beat? What really goes on in the ocean and in outer space? How crazy is it that we can produce another human with our own bodies? Sometimes there just aren’t logical reasons, and we can’t always be in control no matter how hard we try. I invite you to spend some time today just trying to BE. Be here now, and notice all the magic that surrounds you.
Sending love to you all!
That’s it; that’s all I got for ya! Happy day!
P.S.-Maybe the photo below with what appears to be my big sis sitting on my foot, couldn’t have been planned if we had tried.
P.P.S.- For more of what I’ve learned from my loss, check out this post from two years ago…it still holds true today.
