People often have an image in their heads of how they want things to play out in their lives. If only things were perfect, then all would be well in the world. The issue with striving for perfection is that it’s a complete illusion, a lie.
I’ve heard (and thought) it all. We tell ourselves life would be perfect if we had our dream job, our dream body, our dream bank account, and our dream relationships. We convince ourselves if these things would just fall into place, then our lives would be complete. The problem? Human nature…
It’s human nature to constantly look for what’s wrong, not right, what’s bad, not good, and what’s not working, rather than working. Oftentimes, when people reach whatever it is they are striving for, they are quickly onto the next thing, with little appreciation for their achievements.
Aspiring for perfection is troublesome because it leaves very little room to feel awesome, and almost always leads to thoughts of inadequacy. When perfection is our goal, we are almost guaranteeing that nothing will ever be good enough.
Maybe you’re thinking, I’m not a perfectionist, so this doesn’t apply to me, but perfectionism doesn’t necessarily look the way you may expect. Many think perfectionists are only the type of people who are super organized and have spotless homes, but it actually shows up in people’s lives in various ways.
Do you ever find yourself worrying if you said the “right” thing, that you “should” or “shouldn’t” have acted a certain way, worn a different outfit, worked out more, eaten healthier, been more extroverted, or worked harder? Do you ever wish you had picked a different restaurant, car, partner, or career? These examples and more may not appear as typical perfectionistic tendencies, but are.
Perfectionism is just another version of arguing with reality. It’s one more way we try and control life. It’s the illusion that if we had changed our behavior, experienced a circumstance differently, or looked different, then maybe we could have had our desired outcome. Bottom line? You couldn’t have, because you didn’t-end of story.
It’s all just a learning experience, and the best part of looking at our dilemmas this way, is that it can create ease in our minds, which in turn leads to a sense of calm.
Your suffering doesn’t actually come from a potential missed opportunity, or an extra five pounds on the scale. It comes from your thoughts about these things, and when you take the pressure off and let go of needing things to be a particular way, a shift in your mood is inevitable.
Maybe you don’t have to spend your life waiting, wishing, and hoping for specific outcomes, in order to give yourself permission to be happy in this lifetime. Maybe all you need is a little flexibility and openness to life being unpredictable, and it being ok for it to look a little different than expected.
Your greatness is contagious…don’t dull it with unattainable expectations of yourself. Always know that you are perfectly imperfect!
That’s it; that’s all I got for ya!
Happy day!
P.S.-If you struggle with perfectionism, I’d love to hear how you cope. Leave a comment…I promise I won’t think any less of you if you’re not perfect. Guess what? I’m not 😉
